Wednesday, January 13, 2010

You Brought A Pillow to Yoga?

Yes...yes, I did. At the sample yoga class my neck hurt because there was a lot done while laying down and the instructor told me to bring pillows, blankets or whatever is needed to be comfortable. So I brought my pillow with me today. Who knew the pillow would be such a big deal. I had a pillow out by my purse this morning to make sure I didn't forget it. This morning before we left the house, my husbands asks, "uh, what's with the pillow?". He joked if I was having an affair that I wasn't being very sneaky bringing my pillow around with me. Then tonite I'm going up the stairs to the yoga place and someone says to me, "you're bringing a pillow to yoga?" Unapologetic, I said, "YES!"

So on to the actual yoga class. This is "Gentle Yoga 1" and it makes me feel like such an old lady. Most people are at least 20 years older than me and my neck hurts during the entire thing. I have to admit, I have been skeptical about this yoga thing. I didn't understand how yoga could make me more relaxed. Well...something very weird happened tonite. Toward the end of the class I started thinking about how weak my body has become and it made me very sad. Before the accident I was doing a hard core boot camp class 4 mornings a week...outside...at 6am. And now here I am in pain in this class that should be way too easy for someone my age. All of a sudden all this emotion came over me and I was holding back tears! I couldn't wait for the class to be over so I could just let go. As soon as I got in the car I started balling...tears streaming down my face uncontrollably. It was a huge release of sadness, that's all I could explain. I cried the entire way home. I now realize I really need to find a way to get stronger again and I can't sit back and play victim anymore.

2 comments:

Rebecca said...

OK, so this is a GOOD thing! It means you had an important moment of venting and catharsis. You can move forward now. Good for you!

Allison said...

I think crying is a sign that you are getting stronger. It's hard to let go of all those emotions. I hope you find that yoga helps releave pain. Screw anyone who asks about your pillow!